Sugar Addiction, Mental Health, Self Esteem & Michelangelo

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Summary

Sugar addiction is NOT a thing! Our relationship to ourselves is the most important and how that applies to what and how we eat.


Transcript

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You're listening to the Dr. Nina show with Dr. Nina Seville Rocklin only on La talk radio.

Dr. Nina: Welcome to the Dr. Nina show here on La talk radio and Instagram. I'm your host, Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin. And I am here to help you stop counting calories, carbs, and fat grams. So you can easily get to a healthy weight and get on with your life because that is my mission for you. That is what it's all about. I want you to wake up and think about your day, not your diet.

There are so many other things to think about. And when you liberate yourself from the toxic preoccupation and obsessing the obsession, the obsessing of food thoughts, what are you going to eat? What are you not going to eat? What are you going to do for exercise? How many calories are you going to burn? How many fat grams? How many macros on and on and on. When you liberate yourself from that, there is so much else to think about.

And that's what I want to help you do. If you would like to join me today, the number the caller number is 323-203-0815. That is 323-203-0815. I would love to hear what is on your mind, what is weighing on you. Because the real problem with binge eating, stress eating, any kind of emotional eating. The real problem is not food. The real problem is what is as eating at you, and yes, Jose, it's all about freedom. Yes, we are all about freedom breaking free from these thoughts and ideas and societal pressures. And things that keep us trying to be small, both in body and in mind. Does break free, let us have the freedom to be our true selves and not try to be smaller, tighter, more toned, whatever it is you think you need to do to be better. How about live your life don't exist it, thinking about this all the time. I want you to live your life.

That's my goal in my anti-diet. Revolution, post-diet revolution. That's what I'm trying to lead. So who's with me? I need soldiers with me.

Okay, so while I am waiting for someone to call me again at, 323-203-0815 is the number. I am going to. Oh, I'm just going to share something. I did a talk on Clubhouse. For those of you who know Clubhouse, it's this new audio app where you go and you just talk to people. And people can ask you questions if you have a room and things like that. And so, I did a room with Dr. Maggie Landis, who's pretty awesome herself. If you don't know her Check, check her out. And someone called in, and they were talking about food addiction. And they said oh, you know, food addiction. It's it's real. It's a thing. And she told me about this study that these rats had been given the choice between having cocaine or sugar.

And what do you think they had? Well, they had sugar. And as this, she took as proof that as the researcher said, Oh, this is proof that sugar is more addictive than cocaine. There have been other studies like this with heroin. Oh, see, rats will choose sugar over heroin every time. Rats will choose sugar over cocaine every time. See, it's more addictive than drugs. Hold on, folks. Not so fast. The reality is that, Oh, Josh, hold my Hold on. I'll be right with you. I'm just going to finish my thought about this.

The reality is that rats are not motivated by cocaine or heroin. Rats are motivated by food. Sugar is food, and therefore rats are going to choose sugar every time it is not proof that sugar is a more addictive substance than cocaine or heroin. It is proof that rats, especially when hungry because I believe in some of these studies, these rats were starved. That rats will seek, which ensures their survival over that which makes them high. Okay, just wanted to start with that in case any of you all think that there's such thing as sugar addiction. No, no sugar addiction. Maybe Feel like it, but it's actually not a thing.

Dr. Nina: Josh, welcome to the show.

Josh: Hi. Dr. Nina

Dr. Nina: Hey Josh, how are you?

Josh: I'm doing well. Following you from Boulder, and we had a shooting here. As everyone knows, it's been all over the news. And we have a mass shooting here. And that has really upset me. So I thought I'd come on and talk about how that might be affecting my approach to whether it's a setback or whether it's something that I can just kind of heal and get through.

Dr. Nina: Yes, Josh, I, I'm with you in that horror and the awfulness. This is the second shooting in two weeks in this country. And the senseless shooting in Boulder, Colorado, which killed ten people. It is just, it's so painful. It's so horrifying. It brings up all kinds of feelings. What does it bring up for you? And by the way, your audio is a little hit and miss. I don't know if you're away from your phone or what's going on, but maybe you can get closer.

Josh: Oh, yeah, that's too bad.

Dr. Nina: Oh, now it's good.

Josh: No, it's better. Okay. Yeah, what it brings up for me is, I feel like a lot. I feel a lot. And I don't know if it's from my childhood or if it's just from the shooting. I mean, it could be just that I'm sad, and the shooting brought it out more. You know what I mean?

Dr. Nina: Not everything is your child. Right? Josh, Josh, even Sigmund Freud was said to have famously said, When his daughter said she had a dream about him and a train smoking cigars, of course, all this phallic imagery. Apparently, Sigmund said, Oh, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. So you may have, you may just be dealing with the actual, in real-time horror of this shooting of the powerlessness as terrible things unfold as of the randomness of bad things happening. We like to think that we can keep ourselves safe. And sometimes you just go to the store for some groceries, and you end up in a shooting situation. So it can bring up a lot of things. But not everything has to do with your childhood. So pay attention to what is it stirring up for you now?

Josh: Yeah, and I just want to say I'm not involved with. I wasn't there. And I don't know anyone who was there. So that's my, you know, disclaimer, I'm not one of the people that has suffered real trauma from it. But this is a smaller city. And it feels I go I know the area. There's my stomping grounds. So I live a few miles away only. So, I felt this as if I was someone who might have been there. But I shouldn't say that because I can't imagine if one was actually there. If one knew someone who got hurt, or I don't know, if there's anyone who got hurt, I think they all got, they all died. So I can't even imagine the trauma from something like that. But I do feel a great sense of loss from it. And that's how it's been since it's happened.

Dr. Nina: Well, you have empathy.

Josh: Yeah

Dr. Nina: You have empathy. You didn't have to be there to feel that sense of loss or to feel that pain when you hear about the police officer with seven children. Or, you know, the special needs woman, I guess, who had worked there for 30 years or you know, or just so many, so many people just basic, good, decent people whose lives were taken, you have empathy. You don't have to know them to feel that sense of loss. It's a loss of a sense of safety for all of us as well. You have empathy, which means you feel what they. You could feel what the people they left behind, what the people who love them, maybe feeling as well as a sense of, What? How is this happening in this country?

Josh: Yeah, I think I feel like it was a tear to the community because the community functions on the belief that not only are people not going to be shooting a gun at you, but everyone will be polite and courteous and kind as you go about your daily business, and I think that the shooting tore open that, and it's gonna take a long time for it to get back to normal. But there are little signs of Hope. I just came back from coffee on the pro-Street Mall, which is still only just a few miles away. And there was a long line of older people waiting to go into an art store that's been closed after 15 years. And he is going to whine, and I thought, you know what, I'm gonna have coffee with these people next to them to sort of see if we can get back to some sort, some sense of normalcy on this Mall. So I think there's little things like that you can do to try to create a better sense of community.

Dr. Nina: Yes, and, and apropos to what you're saying Jose on Instagram is saying, I think people need to stop thinking in that how and more like what can I do to create change? And yes, what can we each do to create change, not just to heal the communities, but to prevent something like this from happening in anybody else's communities. This is, it's a tragic, horrible, senseless, outrageous, awful thing to have happen. And we need to come together, and each do something whether that thing is write your congressman and say, why do we need assault weapons available to people. We do not need that. Or whatever it is, raise awareness or victim support or just be nice to someone that you and have a conversation with someone you might not otherwise talk to, or talk about, like help raise awareness for mental health issues when there's something that each of us can do. We may feel like we're just a person among many, but we can each do something to create change, not just in our own lives but in our communities, which is empowering.

Josh: Yeah. I think that you know, this is not something new. I mean, we've been dealing with the Coronavirus for a year which has been another tear to the fabric of the community that once was. So it's nothing new. But I do think psychoanalysis has a part to play, you know, in, in getting back to some sense of normalcy because, you know, I'm not a psychoanalyst. But psychoanalyst is about trying to have a dialogue where people can talk. And usually, it's just between the therapist and the patient. But if we can have a dialogue, you know, psychoanalytically almost informed, you know, we might be able to heal quicker, or at least have the opportunity. Opportunity to heal because most of the time, a community never healed from something like that.

Dr. Nina: Yes, in fact, the psychoanalytic community yesterday was sending out all these emails saying we have to do more than just say our thoughts and prayers are with the community. We have to do something more than that. We have to create some kind of healing and not just to prevent this kind of gun violence but to create a more, a better society. I think. You know, people are so fragmented and alienated from themselves and from each other. And then that can lead to this kind of thing happening. And we need to, especially after this year of being quarantined and not being able to be with other people. We need to find a way to be with each other, understand each other, connect with each other and with ourselves, which leads to healing both on a personal and community level.

Josh: Yeah, and you know, I don't know. I don't know what saying; we should get rid of the gun, really God, because it's gonna immediately inflame the guy with the gun who never shoot up the mall who would never shoot up the grocery store. And I really believe that there are people who have gone to never do anything remotely like this. I mean, this guy doesn't like God. He just got a gun six days ago because he used the gun to carry out his freakin answers.

Dr. Nina: It's not. It's not about guns. It's about assault rifles. I mean, I know we're going a little bit off-topic, but it's not like get rid of guns. It's get rid of guns that kill ten people in a few minutes. You know, we don't need those kinds of guns. Nobody needs those kinds of guns. This is my personal opinion. Well, we don't need those kinds of guns to be available to people with mental health issues. And we need to be able to prevent it at that level. But we need to have a more, and I think this is what you're talking about, Josh, we need to have a more profound shift in the way that our society functions so that people are able to get help if they are alienated, if they are unhappy, if they're angry, if they're depressed, so that people are able to get the help they need, instead of acting it out. And we need much more in the way of mental health. What would be the right word, availability of mental health therapists, and just things in place so that people don't fall through the cracks? Yeah, yeah, and so they don't get to the point where they go buy a gun and kill people in a supermarket.

Josh: Right? You were talking about symbolism, and I feel like you were talking about, you know, Freud cigars as a symbolism for his daughter. And I think that, What does the shooting symbolize for us? You know, you almost have to get into this during mentality where for that guy that day, that was going to relieve him of probably suffering. I'm not a psychologist. You could tell me more about that. But for me, I feel like it's almost as if it was his cup of coffee that day. It was something for him to heal himself, just like I went out to try to heal myself this morning. So well, I don't know. You know, whether it really is a gun issue, but it clearly is also a gun issue.

Dr. Nina: The problem is not the gun. The problem is that people are not, are not able to get the help they need, and then they are able to get guns. Look, it's a lot easier to get a gun than it is to get a therapist. That's a problem. So as far as your question about what the meaning of the gun. Well, the Freud comment, by the way, the daughter, I don't know if it's Anna Freud or one of his other daughters, but she said Popeye had a dream and you were in a train going through a tunnel and you were smoking cigars. So there was all kinds of phallic imagery all over the place. And he, as a way of denying his father, as a father denying his daughter's sexuality, said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

In other words, I don't want to deal. Let me just pretend a cigar is just a cigar and not a phallic object. But people who are more into the understanding of symbolism than I am would say perhaps that a gun is the ultimate phallic symbol. But I'm more interested in the psychology of the individual. And that when we can't, when we look at what's what try to look at, well, what does it mean to everybody? We missed the point what is the psychology of one person. I do want to say something else and tie it back into food issues, which is that some people, when they are struggling, they act out against the world. We saw that this week. We saw that last week. We see this all the time people act out. They take their aggression and put it outwards. They kill other people. They beat people. They're hostile to other people. Their hostility is outward.

For many people who struggle with food, I have found that they take their hostility and aggression and turn it against themselves. They turn it on them, and they get mad at themselves, and they attack themselves with verbal bullets, I guess we could say, and they denigrate themselves, and they castigate themselves. And they shoot themselves down. I mean, even think about our vernacular. We shoot each other down with words, not bullets. And so, it's just a different way of creating harm. One is actually killing other people. One is, you know, killing your soul by attacking yourself, and why I am here and why I'm on this mission, the anti-diet mission. And really, the self-love mission is because when you are in a different relationship with yourself, when you can be kind to yourself and support yourself and validate yourself and encourage yourself, you don't need to shoot yourself down or attack anybody else or do anything. Because you're in a good, healthy relationship with you. You don't need food. You don't need to starve yourself or stuff yourself when you can be with yourself in a new way.

Josh: Yeah, and, you know, I've really enjoyed your show, and I really enjoyed calling in because I feel like food is such a gateway into what's really bothering me and you say, in your own words, you say, find out what's eating at you. You know, and I feel like, it's such an amazing thing that you're doing, not just providing a platform of conversation, which I've taken advantage of, but also to try to look in seeing that even something innocuous, like food. And I'm not saying that food is innocuous for anyone listening, but it generally is. It's not a gun. In other words, he was saying, you know, and yet it can open up to so much, you know, good things and bad things. But I think you do have to open up and talk about it to try to figure out what is actually going on. And that's obviously what you're doing. So, yeah, I think there's symbolism and everything.

Dr. Nina: Well, you're a keen student of psychoanalysis, Josh, and I'm really glad, as always, that you called, and you've given me a couple of things to bring up. One of them is why food, I mean, the symbolism of food, which by the way, food should be enjoyed. Ideally, it should be enjoyed. It should be one of the pleasures of life. People say to me all the time, well, I just, you know, I should just eat to, you know, have nutritional value. I should just eat to live and not even enjoy it. It should just be sustenance. No, it should not be sustenance. It's supposed to be enjoyed. It's supposed to be you're supposed to like eating. You're supposed to enjoy it. And, but ultimately, food, our very first experience of eating, is tied to our very first experience of being held. When we're infants, you know, you see babies, they're in a mother or father's arms, and they are safe, and they are secure. And they're in this blissful, peaceful, wonderful place. And that is tied to the experience of being fed. And so, on some level, on some level in our psyche, food equals relationship. When we talk about comfort food, we're really talking about a wish to be comforted. We are not just talking about comfort food, right? There's a symbolism there too. And to really understand what our basic needs and wishes are and start to attend to them instead of being in a toxic relationship to ourselves. That's what is liberating.

Josh: Yeah, and I feel like it's raw. I like the way how you don't think of food as an addiction. Because to think of it as an addiction is to almost completely ignore the actual unconscious, I guess, motivation behind why you would pick up something and put it into your mouth. And so yeah, I think that that's like, Yeah,

Dr. Nina: Yes, if I don't particularly like the word addiction because I think it has a negative connotation, even though I am the CO editor of a book called Beyond the primal addiction, which is a phrase from Freud, who called it the primal called, talks about the primal addiction, but I won't even go into that. Addiction is a negative word to me. But if we're going to use the word addiction when it comes to food, I would say it's an eating addiction. You're not addicted to the actual substance of food. You're addicted to the use of eating to resolve something emotional or express something emotional, or internal or a conflict. It doesn't always have to be, oh, I'm sad, or I'm comfort eating. It can also be I'm in pain, so I'm going to eat so much my stomach hurts. Look, I'm unconsciously converting emotional pain to physical pain because physical pain is easier to get rid of than emotional pain. It could mean so many different things. And that's why I say, well, I am a detective of the mind. And detectives are searching for clues. And so we want to search for clues from a position of curiosity, not criticism, and uncover why you're doing whatever it is that you're doing with food. And believe me, almost everyone who walks into my office, now virtual office, says that they're a food addict. And they think they have no willpower, and they think they have no control. And no, they're wrong. There is something purposeful in their behavior. Our job as detectives is to discover what that is and find new ways of relating to yourself, which changes how you relate with food. So.

Josh: Yeah, and I'll just leave you with something that I had a dream last night, where my own interpretation was it of it was that I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy. I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy what would be considered sort of the forbidden fruit, you know. And it could be the forbidden food, and I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy the symbolism was food in the dream. But I interpreted it as that I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy life in the sense that I was somehow placing things in my way where I wasn't allowed to say enjoy my day, not my diet, for example.

Dr. Nina: So, good dream analysis and I talked about in my book, as you know, I talked about developing an appetite for life. And when you develop an appetite for life, purposeful use of the word appetite, in that phrase, when you can fill up on life, when you can have fulfilling relationships or fulfilling job, you don't need to fill up on food when you have satisfying, gratifying, fun experiences. You don't need food for that purpose. But the problem is for so many people, people other people are, are unreliable, unavailable, unpredictable. And food, which represents people symbolically, is, of course, available. You can get it anytime you want. It is predictable. It's always going to taste like what you think it's going to taste, more or less. And it's reliable. So, understanding the interplay between your fears about fully living life and having a relationship with food is a great place to explore. Yeah, given.

Josh: Go ahead.

Dr. Nina: You've given a lot of food for thought in this call today, Josh.

Josh: Yes, and I feel like when you do that, it's amazing. But love sort of starts to arise spontaneously. You know, when you allow yourself to live, you'd be surprised how close the feeling of love is. You know, you think it's so far away from you because you're suffering so much. But as soon as you allow yourself a chance to eat from the forbidden fruit, if you will, I mean, it's sort of a biblical reference. But you do find love, I feel like.

Dr. Nina: You know, when you love yourself, and you feel lovable, it's easier to find and take in that love from others. But when you don't feel like you're good enough, when you're in a toxic relationship with yourself, first of all, if you're mean to yourself, and someone is mean to you, you're going to say, wow, you know, me really well, let's, let's be together. But when you love yourself, and when you're kind to yourself, and someone is mean to you, you're gonna say, No, thank you. So all relationships, including the relationship with food, comes from our relationship with ourselves. And that is why it's so vital to change the way that we are with ourselves and to treat ourselves. Like someone we love, not someone we hate.

Josh: Yeah, and obviously, that was something that was learned in childhood. We probably didn't get the love we needed, and then we probably thought that we didn't need the love that we needed. And I think that is the really tragic realization that a child has to parents who may not be sufficient, who may have not been sufficiently loving. But we're adults now, and that we shouldn't behave as children in that respect. We should learn to love ourselves just like you're saying. So yeah

Dr. Nina: which I will

Josh: Yeah, I will take, take the time to love your listeners and give them a break from my voice. So that you can get on to other things, but thank you very much for taking my call and talk to you again.

Dr. Nina: Thank you, Josh. It's always good to have you on the show. You always have interesting comments and questions.

Josh: Thank you.

Dr. Nina: You're welcome. I just want to add this because Josh, what he just said as he was leaving, the way that we are treated as children affects the way that we treat ourselves. So often, we treat ourselves as we were treated, and we treat others as we would have wished to be treated.

And so, the key is to heal the past so that we can put it in the past. We want the past to be in the past. Otherwise, it just haunts us. If we are not if we are treated badly to some degree or another. And by the way, there are two kinds of traumas, big t trauma, little t trauma, big trauma is something really devastating an awful and horrible happens to you just, you know, a violent assault, a car accident, someone loses, you know, all their money and you got to move or some something, it's devastating, someone dies, you know, a big trauma is a single event. And that causes incredible traumatic reaction. The other kind of trauma is like, the first big trauma is like, you know, a steak knife or a butcher knife, boom through your heart.

The second kind of trauma is like a thousand small cuts. A thousand small cuts are just as painful as a butcher knife through your heart. So, those smaller cuts are the cutting remarks and not feeling good enough to never being never being told that you're, you know, you're lovable, you're likable, having things have been criticized. It doesn't necessarily have to be this, this big, intense, awful thing that happens. It is traumatic to have people who can't see your worth, or can't be attuned to you, or can't love you the way you need to be loved. That is also traumatic. And when you're treated in a way that makes you feel bad, you think there's something wrong with you.

You think you are bad. And this begins this idea of Okay, I feel bad. I must. There must be something wrong with me; otherwise, why are they treating me this way? And then you start to think, how can I make myself good, so I get the good treatment. And that leads to this notion that you have to change in order to earn love, which becomes a conviction that there is something wrong with you. Because of course, you know, you can try to change yourself any way you can.

People are not treating you badly because you're bad. They're treating you badly because that's how they were treated, or they are just unable to be attuned to you or for whatever reason. But it creates this conviction in adulthood that there's just something indefinably somehow wrong with you, and you need to change, and often that thing that you think you need to change them becomes your weight.

You can't change other things about you. But you can change your weight. And thus, starts the illusion. The grand illusion I talk about all the time that if you change your weight, you change your life. If you become smaller, you become more lovable. If you become smaller, you become better in other ways. If you're shy, you become confident. If you don't have enough friends, you're gonna have tons of friends. If you don't have a love in your life, you're gonna have love. No, you don't have to change yourself to have those things. You have to change the way you think about yourself.

Yes, Jose is with me. Who else is with me? Yes, we've got to change the way we think about ourselves, not change our bodies. Change the ideas that we have about ourselves. Lose not pounds, but notions ideas, thought of, I'm not enough, or I'm too much. Or I'm not smart enough. I'm not. You know, I'm not this enough. I'm not that enough. Right? I don't have enough of a I'm not funny enough. I'm too funny. I'm, I'm not outgoing enough. I'm too outgoing.

Like whatever it is. For everything that you think you need to change about yourself. Someone else is thinking that they want to change to be more like you, by the way. We need to lose the ideas that we have about ourselves that keep us feeling as if we need to change to be better. We're likable. We're lovable. And then is freedom. Freedom.

Jose is saying ego versus empathy. You know, we all need some appropriate ego. Ego is thought of as sort of egotistical, like you have you have a big ego. But ego, think of the ego as yourself, your wishes, your wants, your feelings, your, you know, just you. Not as in too much and not as an egotistical, but just know, what do you want? What do you not want? Being more interested in you. What do you like? What do you not like? Knowing yourself and not comparing yourself to other people, not thinking I should be more like that other person. Or I should be less like me and more like them.

But to really take stock of the range of qualities that you are. Appreciate yourself and the things that you can change about yourself. Maybe you want to change them. Maybe you don't. Maybe you're okay with the fact that you're, I don't know, a workaholic. Maybe you're not, you know, how does it affect your life, or, you know, maybe, you know, you're okay, maybe your friends just grown every time you make a bad joke, but you have fun with your bad jokes.

So say lovey, it's to really just develop a more compassionate, kind relationship with yourself, which makes you choose other people or allow yourself to be with other people who also treat you well. One of the things that I hear a lot from are people who they don't want to be with another person, a partner who is loving and kind. They want to find the jerk, the critic, the mean person who then they can convert into being loving and kind usually because they have some critical parent or critical someone significant in their life.

And so, like to heal the original wound, they want to find that person who's equally as critical as the original person and turn that person into a kind person, and it never works because critical people are critical. Critical people do not suddenly wake up and say, you know, I was wrong about you. You're amazing. Critical people say, you know, you could have done that better. And really, why did you do that? And huh, yeah, you got all A's, but what's up with that a minus? A glimpse into my childhood? Um, yeah, it's an A-minus. And it was an attitude. Yes, another glimpse into my childhood.

So critical people stay critical. But when you heal those original wounds, then you can find people who say, Wow, you are amazing. And you don't have to be perfect to be amazing. And I see, you know, all of you. And I love all of you. And you can receive love and give love. And when you have that, food becomes less of an issue or a non-issue. Food becomes breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snacks. And they should be yummy. My only food rule, by the way, is it should be yummy. Food should be delicious. If it's not delicious, don't eat it. All the other food rules can go. Go gone.

Jose is saying, in fact, what we learn how love works in relationships is the way we saw our parents deal with their relationship. Yes, that is often what happens. We see. You know, I once had a friend who was very independent and very much like her own person, and she got engaged to someone. And he had written something, and she read it, and she said, you know, um, I told him that he needs to change. No, before she got engaged.

Before she got engaged, she read what he wrote. And she had problems with it. And she said, I don't think this character is strong enough, or I don't think this or that. It was a screenplay. And her job was actually screenplay involved in that in that work. And then, as soon as they got engaged, it was the weirdest thing. She turned into a Stepford wife. As soon as she got engaged, it was like, well, this is my fiance's screenplay, and everything that he wrote is golden, literally. And so how was her mother with her father Exactly. That way. She Unconsciously with just repeating the way that her mother had treated her father, who was very traditional, you know, Southern family, and mom was a stay-at-home mom and just cater to dad and all of that stuff.

And so my friend, even though before she got engaged, she was a completely self-sufficient independent woman, just gave that up. As soon as she got engaged, it was something to see. We do that automatically. And we wait. So some of it is what we see the relationships that we see. And some of it is the relationship that we experience. or some combination of both. And the good news is by identifying what are we repeating. We can work through how those early relationships affected us affected our relationship with ourselves, which then affects our relationship with food. Because if you don't feel good enough, and someone's always criticizing you, you're going to learn to turn to food for comfort, often.

So when we can heal those original wounds and change the way that we relate to ourselves and respond to ourselves, that changes are what happens with food as well. Yeah, and Jose is saying when we automatically repeat what we're seeing what we see, we are just repeating other people's habitual way of responding of being. Yes. And, you know, one of the things that I the way that I describe therapy or the way I describe this work, is a something I once heard about Michelangelo, the artists Michelangelo, who after doing one of his finishing one of his statues, I like to think the David because that statue is Oh, oh, my god. Amazing.

I literally sat and stared at that statue for about an hour just. Whoa. I wanted that David to come to life. And many years later, I married someone named David. So there you have it. Michelangelo, what someone said to him. Michelangelo, how do you turn these great blocks of stone into statues? And he said I do not turn the stone into statues? I do not. I free the statues from the stone. Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that amazing? That is this work, chipping away at what is keeping you stuck. Keeping you stuck in a way that makes you unhappy. Keeping you in a toxic relationship to yourself, with food with other people. You can chip away at that and not change, but actually be. Learn to be the person that you have always been. Learn to be your authentic, true you. The you as you that you can be.

That's what this is all about. It's really freeing yourself from the stone. Freeing yourself from the past. Because what's keeping you stuck is the past is what you have experienced and your interpretations of that. And that can be that was learned. And you can unlearn what you learn, and you can learn a new way of being in the world. There is hope. There is hope for change. It is possible. But you can't do it. While dieting. Dieting keeps you away from you. Dieting keeps you in a relationship with your body that is toxic.

Dieting, there is a reason the first three letters of the four-letter word spelled Die, die diets, kill your spirit, kill your way of relating to yourself. Diets disengage you from your own body. Diets teach you not to trust yourself. Diets are bad, bad diets. No more diets. Who's with me? Post diet revolution.

Okay, all right, we have a few more minutes. I am going to randomly like open my book and just read something for five minutes unless someone wants to join me or post something on Instagram. If you want to join me, very, very briefly. The numbers 323-203-0815, 323-203-0815. If not today, catch me next week. I'm here every Wednesday at 11 am Pacific. Okay, I turn to Page 55 on my book, The binge cure, Seven Steps to Outsmart Emotional Eating, in which I talk a lot about the principles that I am talking about with this, um, hey, Josh is now on Instagram. And it was good talking with you as well.

All right, I randomly turn to this page where I talk about going on a word diet, the only diet that I believe in is going on a word diet. And that means eliminating certain words from your vocabulary. See, let me find one because thoughts and beliefs lead to feelings. Lead to behavior. When you're thinking certain, a certain way that is mean, cruel, judgmental, toxic to yourself, you feel terrible. And when you feel terrible, guess what you're going to go use food to feel better, to escape yourself, to comfort yourself, to distract yourself, to give you some sweetness to get away from your own mean voice.

So one of the words is, um, let me choose something I could say really fast. Okay, can't. As Henry Ford famously said, whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. The phrase I can brings to mind possibility, things that can happen, good things, positive things, consider this, I can do this, I can be happy, I can have a good day, I can have a good life, I can get this job, I can meet someone wonderful. That makes you feel optimistic and hopeful. And you feel good. But you put a not at the end of can or make it a contraction, and you have cannot or can't. And that instantly changes your mood.

Have you ever said anything along the lines of I can't eat that? I can't lose weight. I can't stay on my eating plan. I can't take care of myself. If so, you're setting yourself up to feel depressed and hopeless. So eliminate the word can't from your vocabulary. Unless it's something like I cannot be mean to myself because I don't deserve that. As a small child, I loved a book called The Little Engine That Could. It's about an engine that's asked to do something impossible. Pull a big train up a mountain. The little engine has a mantra. I think I can. And as he slowly moves up the mountain, I don't know why it's a he. I don't know why it's a he. It's a he. It's a she. It's gender-neutral. I'm going to call the little train they,

As they slowly move up the mountain, they say over and over. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can, and against all odds, they do. They get to the top of the mountain. Whatever challenges you encounter in your life, your success depends a lot on your attitude. If you tell yourself that you can do something. If you encourage yourself, if you believe in yourself, you're a lot more likely to reach your goal. So remember, you got this, you can do this, you can.

So that is one of the words to eliminate can't from on the word diet. The other ones are fat. You aren't fat. You have fat. You do have fingernails as well. You are not fingernails. I got that on Instagram. That is not an original thought of mine. But I love that because it kind of gives you perspective. There are a lot more of them. And I will go into them at more detail later. But you get the idea that the way that you talk to yourself affects the way you feel. And the way that you feel affects what you do with food. When you are nice to yourself, I've got this. I can do this.

You feel good when you feel good. You don't need to drown your sorrows and ice cream. When you tell yourself something like you can't do this, who do you think you are? You have no willpower. You have no control. No one's ever going to love you. They're going to figure out that you are such a loser. These are just some of the things that I've heard. People tell me that they've told themselves in the last couple of weeks and notice they talk to themselves in second person. They're not saying I am such a loser, but regardless, then they feel terrible. And then they go and eat just to get away from their own mean voice. Don't do that. Be your own best friend. If you wouldn't say it to someone you love or care about. Do not say to yourself. Then you're going to feel better. When you feel good, then food can be good to just a thought.

So that is my show for today. Thank you so much for joining me here on the Dr. Nina show on La talk Radio, and Facebook, and Instagram these days. We're out of the studio because of the pandemic. And now that we're all these different places at once. It's so cool. I am here every week at 11 am Pacific, or you can listen later on Apple podcasts or anywhere where you listen to podcasts. And if you'd like to get more about my book, it is available on Amazon in all formats, including audio Audible, the Binge Cure 7 Steps to Outsmart Emotional Eating. Get it on Amazon, join me next week. And as always, be curious, not critical. See you soon. Bye-bye.

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You're listening to the Dr. Nina show with Dr. Nina Seville Rocklin only on La talk radio.

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