Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin
How to Put Yourself First Every Day: Guide to Self-Care
Have you ever felt like you're constantly putting others before yourself, leaving your own needs unmet? If you also struggle with binge eating or emotional eating, it’s possible that you take care of everyone else and food takes care of you.
This article, “How to Put Yourself First Every Day,” will equip you with practical advice to balance caring for others and yourself.
Before you begin, make sure you have a journal or digital note-taking app, a quiet space to reflect, and a willingness to prioritize your well-being. No special skills or background knowledge is needed—just your commitment to making yourself a priority.
Table of Contents
- Step-by-Step Guide on How to Put Yourself First
- Step 1: Identify Your Needs
- Step 2: Establish Healthy Boundaries
- Step 3: Practice Self-Compassion
- Step 4: Set Realistic Goals
- Step 5: Prioritize Self-Care
- Start Making Yourself a Priority Today!
- Frequently Asked Questions
If you want to know how to love your body and feel better about yourself, you can watch my video on “How to Not Hate Your Body” below:
Step-by-Step Guide on How to Put Yourself First
Many people think they’re “needy” when they’re actually having normal and natural human needs. Feeling conflicted about having needs often feels weak for having them. Or they feel selfish when they try to meet their needs.
When you put yourself first, you're not being selfish; you're ensuring that you're in the best possible shape—mentally, emotionally, and physically—to create a balance between meeting your needs and helping others.
Remember, you matter, too. By following this step-by-step guide, you will develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of your own needs, an important element of fostering self-care and enjoying a balanced life.
Step 1: Identify Your Needs
Clarity around your own needs helps you prioritize yourself and put yourself first in a healthy way. Start with self-reflection: Use a journal or note-taking app to jot down your thoughts and feelings.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What activities make me feel happy and fulfilled?
- What are my emotional and physical needs?
- What do I need more or less of in my life?
Group your answers into categories: For example, personal time, social connections, health, or hobbies. If you're ready to make a change, remember that each step you take toward prioritizing yourself is significant.
Surround yourself with supportive relationships that encourage your growth and well-being. Celebrate your progress and give yourself credit for every effort you make.
Step 2: Establish Healthy Boundaries
Group your answers into categories: For example, personal time, social connections, health, or hobbies.
Setting boundaries ensures that your well-being remains a priority. If you’re afraid of hurting people’s feelings or upsetting them, that’s a sign that you’re not valuing yourself.
When you put yourself first by establishing clear limits, you can better manage your energy and time, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
How to establish Healthy Boundaries:
- Recognize Your Limits: Identify areas in your life where you need more space or time for yourself. This is key to making your well-being a priority.
- Acknowledge situations that drain you emotionally or physically.
- Note those times when you feel overwhelmed or taken for granted.
- Communicate Clearly: Once you know your limits, communicate them to others in a respectful but firm manner.
- Be direct and honest about your needs.
- Use “I” statements to express your feelings and requirements. For example, “I can’t talk tonight. I need some time alone to recharge.”
- Be Consistent: Maintaining your boundaries over time takes consistency. Stick to your established boundaries confidently and without guilt.
- Keep restarting your boundaries when necessary to reinforce their importance.
By establishing healthy boundaries, you make your well-being a priority, helping you to put yourself first and cultivate a happier, more balanced life. When that happens you are less likely to use food for comfort, distraction, or even to decompress.
Step 3: Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend or anyone you care about or love.
It helps you build a strong relationship with yourself, which is the foundation for all relationships, with people and with food.
Practicing self-care and saying “NO” to others when needed and “YES” to yourself can empower you to value yourself and put yourself first.
How to Practice Self-Compassion:
- Start by Acknowledging Your Feelings: Take a moment each day to check in with your emotions. Are you feeling stressed, sad, or overwhelmed?
- Practice Self-Reflection: Spend a few minutes reflecting on your day. What went well? What challenges did you face?
- Replace Negative Self-Talk: Notice when you are being critical of yourself and consciously shift to a kinder, more supportive inner dialogue.
- Take Self-Compassion Breaks: Throughout the day, pause and speak kindly to yourself. This can be as simple as saying, “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
When you acknowledge your feelings, practice self-reflection, and treat yourself with the same compassion you'd offer a friend, you create a more fulfilled, satisfying life. When you do that, you’re less likely to “fill up” on food as a substitute for fun and enjoyment.
Step 4: Set Realistic Goals
Setting realistic goals is crucial to make sure you are consistently making yourself a priority and putting yourself first. By setting achievable objectives, you create a sense of accomplishment and motivation to continue on this path.
How to Set Realistic Goals
- Start Small: Begin with manageable tasks that don’t overwhelm you. This builds momentum and confidence.
- Be Specific: Clear, detailed goals are easier to follow. Instead of saying, “I want to exercise more,” specify, “I will walk for 30 minutes three times a week.”
- Track Progress: Keep track of your achievements. This not only motivates you but helps you adjust goals as needed.
- Reward Yourself: Celebrate your successes. Recognize the efforts you have made to put yourself first and treat yourself to something enjoyable.
- Stay Flexible: Life can be unpredictable. It’s important to adapt your goals as needed while keeping your well-being as a priority.
Remember, consistent effort, no matter how small, leads to significant, lasting changes. Embrace each step as a vital part of your growth journey. Your well-being is worth prioritizing every day.
Step 5: Prioritize Self-Care
Making self-care a priority is essential for maintaining your overall well-being. It ensures that you replenish your energy and remain mentally and physically healthy.
This step encourages you to put yourself first regularly, creating a balanced and fulfilling life.
How to Prioritize Self-Care:
- Schedule Time for Yourself: Dedicate a portion of your day to activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
- Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to physical signs of stress or fatigue. Rest when needed and don’t push yourself beyond your limits. When we listen to our bodies we’re less likely to eat sugary foods for energy or heavy carbs to calm ourselves down.
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your need to put yourself first. Communicate your self-care priorities to them.
By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you improve your emotional and physical well-being. Creating sustainable habits is a way of acknowledging your worth and also setting a powerful example for those around you.
Remember, putting yourself first is not an act of selfishness; it’s a necessary practice for living a balanced and fulfilling life.
Start Making Yourself a Priority Today!
If you want to put yourself first every day, do what brings you joy, listen to your body, and seek support like my Food for thought Community for people struggling with Binge Eating.
Investing in yourself in these ways will not only enhance your happiness but also improve your overall quality of life.
I encourage you to start implementing these steps today. Notice the positive changes in your emotional and physical health, including the improvement with emotional eating.
And, if you found these tips helpful, please explore my related articles to continue your self-care journey.
Frequently Asked Questions
Setting boundaries may feel challenging at first, but it is essential for maintaining your well-being. Remember, self-compassion is not selfish; it’s a necessary practice for personal growth.
Incorporating self-care routines into your daily life can significantly enhance your mental and physical health.
1. Why is it important to put yourself first?
Putting yourself first is essential for maintaining your mental and physical health. It allows you to build resilience, manage stress, and maintain positive relationships.
Remember, it’s not about being selfish; it’s about securing your own oxygen mask before helping others, as the adage goes. Prioritizing yourself enables you to be more present and effective in your interactions, work, and personal endeavors.
By putting yourself first, you're equipping yourself with the tools needed to face life's challenges with confidence and a strong sense of self-worth.
2. How can I identify my needs effectively?
Engage in positive self-talk, appreciate your achievements, and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend.
Engage in positive self-talk, appreciate your achievements, and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend. Remember, putting yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
When you prioritize your well-being, you become more resilient, compassionate, and effective in your day-to-day life.
Practicing self-care can significantly reduce stress, improve mood, and boost overall health. So, make it a habit to check in with yourself daily and take the necessary steps to nurture your mind, body, and spirit.
3. How do I set realistic goals for myself?
Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. Ensure they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).
Once you have your goals broken down, maintain a tracking system, such as a journal or a digital app, to monitor your progress. Regularly review your achievements and adjust your plans as needed.
This constant evaluation helps to stay aligned with your priorities and ensures that you are putting yourself first without getting overwhelmed or losing focus.
4. What self-care activities can I incorporate into my daily routine?
Including physical exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and leisure activities can significantly improve your well-being.
Additionally, dedicating time to pursue hobbies and fulfilling activities can enhance your sense of joy and satisfaction, making it easier to appreciate your unique qualities and abilities.
5. How can establishing healthy boundaries benefit my overall well-being?
Setting healthy boundaries ensures you allocate time and energy for yourself, reduces stress, and promotes balanced relationships by clearly defining your personal limits.
By communicating your boundaries clearly, you empower yourself to prioritize your needs without guilt or apology.
This can lead to healthier, more respectful relationships where your well-being is valued. Moreover, maintaining these boundaries helps you avoid burnout and ensures you have the emotional and physical resources needed to thrive.
Setting boundaries can significantly reduce anxiety and improve life satisfaction
The Author
Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin is a renowned author and podcast host and one of the nation’s leading psychoanalysts known for the psychology of eating. Her signature message of, “It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating ‘at’ you” has resonated with hundreds of thousands of listeners from around the globe in 40 countries. As founder of The Binge Cure Method, she guides emotional eaters to create lasting food freedom so they can take back control of their lives and feel good in their bodies.
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