Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin
Why Dairy Cravings Strike When Stressed: 3 Psychological Reasons
Table of Contents
- 1. Dairy Cravings Stem from Early Emotional Comfort
- 2. Dairy Cravings Communicate Psychological Needs
- 3. Dairy Cravings Create Meaningful Food Rituals
- From Understanding to Choice
- Frequently Asked Questions
Ever experience intense dairy cravings late at night? Whether it's ice cream, mac and cheese, or an extra-creamy latte during busy mornings, these dairy cravings may feel physical, but they're often rooted in psychology.
If you can’t stay away from dairy-based foods like ice cream when you’re upset or stressed, it means your mind is trying to help you feel better. Emotional eating is a negative coping strategy, providing comfort, release, or escape from uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
Modern life moves fast, demands a lot from us, and often feels overwhelming. We use the word “stress” all the time, but there are different kinds of stress. Here are some of them:
- Acute Stress – This is the most common kind. It’s situational and comes from a specific trigger, a looming deadline, an argument with a friend, a minor accident. It’s uncomfortable, but temporary.
- Chronic Stress – The most damaging type. Chronic stress comes from ongoing pressures, financial struggles, family conflict, relationship problems, or toxic workplaces. Because it’s constant, it wears down both mind and body.
- Eustress – This is “positive” stress. Think of the excitement before a big event, the adrenaline of a new challenge, or the energy that comes from doing work you love. It feels good, but it’s still stressful, and if it goes on too long, it takes a toll physically.
- Physical Stress – This happens when our bodies are under strain from lack of sleep, illness, injury, or poor nutrition. Even if our minds are calm, our bodies can be stressed.
- Existential Stress – This is the stress of the big questions: What’s my purpose? Why am I here? Am I living the life I want? When those questions feel unanswered, it can lead to anxiety, hopelessness, or depression.
Different types of stress can trigger different dairy cravings, each serving a specific psychological purpose. Here are three reasons why craving dairy foods tend to hit hardest when you’re stressed, along with alternate ways to cope.
1. Dairy Cravings Stem from Early Emotional Comfort
Dairy is often one of the first substances we consume, whether it’s breast milk or formula. But when we’re fed as infants, we’re not just getting nourishment. We’re also being held, soothed, and comforted. Feeding becomes our first experience of love and connection.
That's why dairy cravings and emotional eating are so closely linked. When life feels chaotic, these dairy cravings automatically surface as we turn to what once felt safe. We don’t just want ice cream, yogurt, or creamy cheese; we want to feel safe, secure, and loved.
Consider the softness of so many comfort foods: ice cream, mac and cheese, warm lattes, or cheesecake. When we are anxious or emotionally overloaded, we crave soft, creamy foods because they are so similar to the original mother’s milk (or its formula equivalent).
Understanding this primal connection helps explain why certain foods call to us, but the specific foods we choose aren't random. The key to change is identifying what you truly need in the moment and responding to those needs.
2. Dairy Cravings Communicate Psychological Needs
Beyond this primal connection, different dairy foods carry specific symbolic meanings. Understanding the psychology behind dairy cravings helps you decode what these intense urges really mean, allowing you to meet those underlying needs directly.
Here’s what your cravings may be communicating:
- Ice cream, cheesecake, pudding: A desire for comfort. A wish to numb overwhelming emotions while still being soothed. A wish to mother yourself with soft, sweet foods that are often associated with nurturing and a sense of being soothed.
- Mac and cheese or grilled cheese: The need to feel full, both emotionally and physically. A longing for warmth and to fill the void.
We often talk about “comfort food” when the real underlying wish is to be comforted by someone else. Our culture references “starving for love” or describes relationships as “fulfilling” or “satisfying” all of which connects food with emotional fulfillment.
By recognizing what’s behind these dairy cravings, you can respond to yourself differently during times of stress.
3. Dairy Cravings Create Meaningful Food Rituals
Often, specific rituals around eating are as important as the foods we choose. The morning latte, the nightly bowl of ice cream, the grilled cheese at lunch don’t just bring comfort, but offer predictability.
When life feels out of control, dairy-based foods become a way to anchor yourself in familiar actions. The acts of spooning ice cream, stirring a latte, or preparing cheesy pasta are rituals that bring a sense of predictability.
These rituals create moments of familiarity in a chaotic world and create a sense of being cared for and stability.
Recognizing the source of your cravings gives you the power to make different choices. Instead of defaulting to food as a way of managing stress, you can consider how else you might meet that need.
From Understanding to Choice
Recognizing these three psychological drivers behind dairy cravings during stressful times provides a foundation for a healthier approach to managing these intense urges. The next time you reach for a bowl of mac and cheese or grab a pint of ice cream, ask yourself:
- What was I feeling before this craving started?
- Am I overwhelmed, lonely, anxious, or emotionally drained?
- What am I really seeking comfort, connection, reassurance?
This is how we unlearn emotional eating. It's not about willpower, control, or addiction, and it's not really about food. You learned this way of managing what feels emotionally uncomfortable and you can learn a new way.
Recognizing what's eating at you instead of focusing on what you're eating is an important step to creating change. By understanding yourself, you can respond differently and meet your emotional needs in ways that truly nourish and fulfill you.
When you understand your cravings, you can listen and respond to yourself in a way that comforts your soul. And that's where food freedom begins: not the absence of cravings, but the presence of choice.
Understanding dairy cravings as distinct from general food cravings is crucial for developing effective coping strategies. Unlike cravings for other foods, dairy cravings carry deep emotional significance tied to our earliest experiences of comfort and nourishment.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are dairy cravings a sign of a nutritional deficiency?
Not usually. While some cravings can be linked to physical needs, most dairy cravings, especially during stress, are emotionally driven. They’re often connected to unconscious associations with comfort, safety, and early experiences of being nurtured.
Why do I always crave ice cream or cheese when I’m anxious or sad?
Creamy, dairy-based foods often act as emotional stand-ins for comfort. If you’re feeling anxious, lonely, or overwhelmed, your mind may reach for the foods that once felt soothing. Ice cream and cheese aren’t just tasty, they’re symbolic.
How can I stop emotional eating, especially when it comes to dairy?
The key isn’t to “stop” emotional eating through willpower, but to understand what your cravings are trying to communicate. Ask yourself what you’re truly needing in the moment: comfort, connection, calm? When you meet those needs in other ways, the food loses its emotional grip.
Is it bad to eat comfort food when I’m stressed?
Not at all. Sometimes choosing comfort food is exactly what you need, and allowing yourself that experience without guilt can be healing. There’s nothing wrong with occasionally eating to feel better. This is emotional eating, which differs from binge eating. The problem arises when it becomes your only coping strategy. Expanding your emotional toolkit gives you more choice, not more rules.
I know I’m emotionally eating, but I can’t stop. What should I do?
Start with compassion. Emotional eating is a coping mechanism, not an addiction and not a failure of willpower or control. Begin by getting curious about what you’re feeling and what your cravings might represent. Support, reflection, and insight are what help create lasting change.
Sick of obsessing about every bite?
GET THE CURE
The Binge Cure Book!
Enter “CURE” to receive a 20% discount.
No, I don’t want access to this terrific resource to help me overcome binge eating.
The Author
Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin is a renowned author and podcast host and one of the nation’s leading psychoanalysts known for the psychology of eating. Her signature message of, “It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating ‘at’ you” has resonated with hundreds of thousands of listeners from around the globe in 40 countries. As founder of The Binge Cure Method, she guides emotional eaters to create lasting food freedom so they can take back control of their lives and feel good in their bodies.
Related Blogs
