Table of Contents
- Maybe your New Years Resolutions are to…
- In This Post, I'm Going to Talk About
- Rule # 1: Instead of Focusing on Changing Your Behaviors, Focus on Being Your Own Best Friend.
- So Be Nice and Kind to Yourself.
- Let’s Try Something Different This Year. I Challenge You to Try These 5 New Years Resolutions!
- #1 RECOMMIT
- #2 REEVALUATE
- #3 RELY
- #4 REVERE
- #5 RE-ENGAGE
- Want to Make Sure Your New Years Resolutions Stick?
- To Wrap it Up
- Happy New Year from Me and Zane!
Have you ever wondered why most New Years Resolutions fail?
There is one simple reason:
Goals for a “new year, new me” are all about behavior. They are about things we see as wrong about ourselves.
Maybe your New Years Resolutions are to…
- lose weight
- stop eating carbs
- or go to the gym more often
Those are great goals to have. . .
However, I’m sure you know that “willpowering” your way through these goals will actually prevent you from achieving them. It’s tough to keep relying on willpower when we have years (sometimes decades) of old stories and negative feelings about these very things.
In fact, staying in the “I can’t feel good about myself until I’m skinny” mentality is exactly what keeps us in a yo-yo cycle of dieting and deprivation, followed by bingeing. When we give up dieting, we also give up the belief that we deserve to be treated well only after we lose weight.
In This Post, I'm Going to Talk About
- The reasons that these types of resolutions fail.
- New Years Resolutions that you can set that you will want to stick to and why.
- Ways to keep them in front of you throughout the year so you will remember them.
Rule # 1: Instead of Focusing on Changing Your Behaviors, Focus on Being Your Own Best Friend.
Why? Most of these resolutions focus on negative feelings about yourself. A lot of times we tell ourselves things such as I have to work out because I’m fat or I need to lose weight so I’ll be happy. When we realize that we don’t need to lose weight to live the life we want to be living, we stop obsessing over calories and start feeling better.
That’s when the weight comes off more easily. Why? Because we lose weight when we are happier and feeling good. If you think losing weight will make you happy, think again. It may, for a brief period of time. Ultimately, feeling happy is actually what will help you lose weight because you won't feel the need to eat to solve your negative feelings.
So Be Nice and Kind to Yourself.
When you’re nice to yourself, you’re more likely to be motivated to do and achieve the things you want because they bring you happiness rather than make you feel bad about yourself. So be the friend or lover that you want others to be for you. Do nice things for yourself. Take steps to make yourself feel loved and cared for. Heck, maybe even bring yourself flowers. You are worthy of all of these things right now exactly as you are.
Let’s Try Something Different This Year. I Challenge You to Try These 5 New Years Resolutions!
There’s a good chance, you may actually achieve what you want and maintain it for the long term! Not only that, but your heart and your mind will be in a much better place next year. How would that make you feel?
Take a moment to recommit to YOU. Visualize a revitalized, glowing, thriving you. Create an intention to recommit to your wellbeing. That can sound like, “I’m committing to myself, to my health, to my happiness, and to self-acceptance and love!”
Ask yourself what’s stopping you from feeling good and being happy? Maybe you believe that you need to lose weight to feel happy or confident. Our minds are like a garden. If you plant seeds of hopelessness, criticism, and frustration, you feel terrible. However, if you plant hope, acceptance, and compassion…You will flourish. You’ll feel great.
Today, reevaluate what kind of seeds you’re planting in your mental garden.
Rely on someone (instead of going at it alone). Try leaning on a friend or loved one by sharing your goals, talking about your stumbling blocks, and planning solutions. A good friend is like a good bra: they’re always there to support you! I caution you to choose these people wisely. If someone is negative and not supportive, they might be a bad choice here.
Revere your body (instead of hating it). Hey, if your mind went to Paul Revere, I’ve got you covered. To revere something means having deep, adoring, respect for it. It is the most profound feeling of gratitude that we can feel. So essentially, you’re going to want to have a deep respect for your body.
Imagine looking into the mirror and saying “I accept you.” When you accept yourself, you’re not coasting. You’re telling yourself that you don’t need to change your body to be acceptable. When you feel good about yourself overall, it’s easier to take better care of yourself.
Ever wonder when eating became so complicated? We have so many choices: Low-fat, low-carb, juice cleanses, keto, paleo, vegetarian, vegan, no sugar, gluten-free, organic, non-GMO, and the list goes on. So, how did our ancestors survive thousands of years without dieting? They listened to their bodies. The secret is to throw out all the rules except one: listen to your body, and honor what it tells you.
Re-engaging with your body means listening to your hunger signals, your satisfaction levels, and other messages that your body sends you. Learning to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full, and enjoy food again is a process that takes time but you can start that process TODAY.
Want to Make Sure Your New Years Resolutions Stick?
New Years Resolution excitement wears off quickly. It’s easy to forget about your resolutions once the champagne is gone and the confetti is cleaned up. Now that you’ve committed to some new types of resolutions, here are some easy ways to help keep them front of mind during the coming weeks and months.
- Set a timer to go off throughout the day on your phone that’s labeled with a positive affirmation about your resolution. For example, I am committing myself to my health, happiness, self-acceptance, and love.
- Create a pretty graphic that contains your resolution. Use it as a screen saver on your phone or save it as a desktop on your computer. You could also get it printed and framed for your office wall or desk. Canva is a simple to use amazing app for this (and you can even order a color print of your creation.)
- Have a bracelet made with a word or short phrase that embodies your resolution for the year. Wear it every day so you have a beautiful reminder of your resolution when you look at your hand.
- Write it on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror.
- Journal about it. Ask yourself, how can I (insert your resolution here) today?
- When you plan your day, ask yourself what’s one thing that I can do today to (insert resolution). Then make sure that thing happens. It doesn’t have to be huge, it could be buying yourself flowers on the way home or telling yourself you love yourself every time you look in the mirror.
To Wrap it Up
I hope this has inspired you to change your New Years Resolution to one that empowers you to be kind to yourself and be happy exactly where you are right now. You will end up taking action to be healthier and happier without the negative self-talk and you will have a better year.
Which one of these resolutions are you going to implement first and how do you plan to keep it in front of you throughout the year? I’d love to know. Comment below or send me an email and let me know. I want to celebrate your choice with you.
Happy New Year from Me and Zane!
Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin is a psychoanalyst, author and radio host specializing in binge eating disorder. She is the author of The Binge Cure: 7 Steps to Outsmart Emotional Eating and Food for Thought: Perspectives on Eating Disorders, and co-editor of Beyond the Primal Addiction. She hosts The Dr. Nina Show radio program on LA Talk Radio.