Do you ever wish you could just be done with feelings? Just get rid of them?
How to get rid of feelings for someone?
Today I’m going to tell you exactly how to do that.
The other day I was at a party and someone asked, “What's the point of expressing these feelings? It's not going to change anything.”
She was telling me the details of her really brutal divorce. I mean, this divorce was nasty. There's parental alienation, secret bank accounts, maybe even another woman in the picture – all kinds of hateful and awful things happen between these two people who once loved each other. Very sad.
For example, she said, “Yeah, he told the kids that she only wants them, so he'll have to pay more money in child support.”
But the way she was talking about it, she might as well have been discussing a trip to the mall or talking about the weather.
So I pointed this out, and she said, “Well, what's the point of getting upset? It's going to change anything. I'm still getting a divorce.”
And that's true. Expressing your feelings won't change the situation.
Don't express feelings to change a situation
But guess what? We don't express feelings to change a situation. We express them to feel better or different about the situation.
The best example I have is kind of morbid, but just about everyone can relate.
When someone dies (and most of us have lost someone), we mourn and grieve.
We don't say, “What's the point of grieving our loss? It won't bring the dead person back to life.”
No. We grieve, mourn, cry, or even celebrate the person's life because it helps us come to terms with our loss. It helps us feel better.
If you don't express your feelings, they don't go away. They're still there.
And you might use food as a way of distracting, numbing or even expressing those feelings. Like, getting mad at yourself for overeating instead of getting angry at someone who's upsetting you.
The only way to get rid of feelings is to feel them
As counterintuitive as it sounds, the only way to get rid of feelings is to actually FEEL them. Expressing emotions doesn't change the situation, but it does help us feel differently about that situation.
You're at peace when you feel better and don't need food to be numb out.