How To Get Rid Of Feelings

How to get rid of feelings

Table of Contents

How to Get Rid of Feelings (The Surprising Truth)

Today I’m going to tell you exactly how to get rid of feelings. Spoiler: the answer isn’t about pushing them away, ignoring them, or numbing them with food, alcohol, shopping, or endless scrolling.

Why We Want to Get Rid of Feelings

Not long ago, someone asked me, “What’s the point of expressing feelings? It’s not going to change anything.”

She was in the middle of a brutal divorce and was having a tough time. There was parental alienation, secret bank accounts, and the suspicion that her husband had also cheated on her. It was a horrific and heartbreaking situation. But the way she described it was flat, almost detached, as if she were talking about traffic or the weather.

When I gently pointed this out, she shrugged and said, “Well, what’s the point of getting upset? It won’t change anything. I’m still getting divorced.”

She wasn’t wrong, in one sense. But here’s what most people don’t realize: we don’t express feelings to change situations. We express them so we can change how we feel about those situations.

Why Expressing Feelings Matters

Take grief, for example. When someone we love dies, crying doesn’t bring them back. Mourning doesn’t alter reality. But grief helps us adjust to life without that person. It helps us process and integrate the loss into our lives.

Ignoring our emotions doesn’t erase them. They get buried inside us. And when feelings are buried, they usually resurface in disguised forms: as anxiety, depression, physical symptoms, or emotional eating.

I once worked with a woman named Serena who constantly berated herself for binge eating chips every night. She thought she had no willpower and she was very upset with herself. 

But the real issue was unexpressed anger. She was swallowing her rage rather than letting herself acknowledge it. And then she took it out on herself by getting frustrated with herself for turning to food. 

Once she learned how to connect with and process the underlying anger, she no longer needed food to express it. The binges subsided, not because she suddenly got more willpower, but because she no longer used food to express her emotional state.

The Only Way to Get Rid of Feelings Is to Feel Them

As counterintuitive as it may sound, the only way to get rid of feelings is to feel them. Feelings are not permanent. They rise, peak, and fade when we allow ourselves to experience them.

When you give yourself permission to feel sadness, anger, loneliness, or even joy, those emotions lose their intensity. Suppressing them, on the other hand, makes them stronger.

I worked with a man named John who was devastated after a breakup. Instead of facing his loneliness, he numbed himself with food. Every night he ate until he felt stuffed to the point of physical pain. 

Once he allowed himself to identify and process the pain of the breakup and recognize that he deeply missed his partner, something shifted. The more he allowed himself to feel the pain of the breakup, the less he used food to convert emotional pain into physical pain.

Why We Avoid Feelings

Emotions are called “feelings” because we experience them physically in our bodies. Our hearts race with anxiety or fear. We may cry when we’re sad. We feel a pit of dread in our stomach when life gets hard.

If facing feelings is the path to healing, why do so many of us avoid them? Often it’s because we learned, early on, that emotions are dangerous or unwelcome. Maybe you were told “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Maybe showing anger got you punished. Maybe vulnerability was mocked.

We also fear emotions will overwhelm us. I’ve heard more than one person say, “If I start crying, I’ll never stop.” But no one has ever cried forever. Feelings pass when they’re acknowledged and processed. It’s the avoidance that keeps them stuck.

Yet feelings are simply reactions to situations. We’re not weak if we feel them and strong if we push them away. They are just messages from our minds to our bodies that deserve our attention.

The key is to recognize that our emotions connect us to ourselves and each other. By pushing them away, we disconnect from ourselves and from our humanity.

How to Begin Facing Your Feelings

Learning how to get rid of feelings starts with recognizing and naming them. Instead of saying “I’m stressed,” try getting more specific: “I feel angry my boss ignored my hard work” or “I feel hurt that my friend canceled on me.” Naming the emotion makes it easier to manage.

Then, allow yourself to notice where that emotion shows up in your body. Do you feel sadness as heaviness in your chest? Anger as tightness in your jaw? Stay with the sensation, even if it’s uncomfortable. Feelings aren’t dangerous, even if they don’t feel pleasant.

Give yourself a way to express what you feel. That might mean journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or saying the words aloud to yourself: “I feel lonely right now.” Expression helps you move the emotion through, so it no longer needs to be hidden or managed with food.

Finally, respond to yourself with kindness and compassion when you feel upset. Validate your experience and remind yourself that this feels bad now, but it will not last. You’ve gone through challenges in the past and you’ll get through this, too. 

The Connection Between Feelings and Food

People struggling with binge eating are really struggling with feelings. When sadness, anger, shame, or loneliness feel unbearable, food becomes a substitute. Eating distracts, numbs, or even symbolically expresses emotions that feel too risky to share directly.

But food can’t resolve feelings. Eating is a temporary distraction and comfort.  Once the binge ends, the feelings remain, often with an additional layer of shame. That’s why learning how to face and process emotions is the real way to get rid of feelings and stop emotional eating.

Conclusion: The Real Way to Get Rid of Feelings

The real way to get rid of feelings is to stop trying to get rid of them. You don’t need to fight them, bury them, or cover them up. You need to feel them.

The path to healing isn’t about silencing emotions but honoring them. Feelings are not flaws. They are natural responses to life’s challenges and connections to your true inner self.

When you consider your emotions with curiosity and compassion, they begin to loosen their grip. That’s how you free yourself from emotional eating. That’s how you break the cycle of self-criticism. And that’s how you create space for peace, connection, and lasting freedom.

FAQs About How to Get Rid of Feelings

Can you ever get rid of feelings completely?

Not permanently. Feelings are part of being human. But you can release their intensity by allowing yourself to experience them.

What happens if I keep ignoring my emotions?

They don’t disappear. They tend to come back as anxiety, depression, physical complaints, or emotional eating.

What’s the difference between a thought and a feeling?

A thought is cognitive, like “I’m a failure.” A feeling is emotional, like “I feel sad.” Recognizing the difference is essential.

What if my feelings are too overwhelming?

Start small. Notice and name what you feel. Seek support from therapy, journaling, or safe relationships. Feelings are less scary when they’re shared.

How do emotions connect to binge eating?

Food often becomes a way of coping with emotions we don’t want to feel. Once you face the actual emotion, whether it’s anger, sadness, or loneliness, you no longer need food to serve that purpose.